Every night, I find myself lying awake, longing for Lucy. I can’t shut my brain off. I watch TV, I listen to music, I read… but I can’t fall asleep, and I lay there missing her. Why do I have to carry this burden?
You know, I love her so much, I’d be willing to wait until she’s 18 just for a chance of a relationship. I’m actually turned on imagining her at legal age, the two of us going out at two in the morning in our pajamas to get snacks at the gas station. Laughing and joking,
I wish I could know whether we’ll end up together in the end, or if she’ll move on without me. Without this closure, I’m stuck in limbo, unable to move on, myself. The odds aren’t in my favor. They never are. I hate this.
I’d do anything for you baby girl. You mean the world to me. You’re my best friend. My love. Anything for you. 💕👩👧
Forever grieving
I have always been able to get over adult girlfriends within a month after a break up. But when a girl child is taken out of my life by parents or other extenuating circumstances, I can’t get over them. I’m forever grieving. It hurts. There’s no closure. And I’m left wondering what could have been.
It’ll be 8 years before she’s 18. I don’t know if I’ll see her again before she’s 18, or even after. Am I delusional to wait for her for that long, with no guarantee we’ll end up together in the end? I really don’t wanna be with anyone else, though.
It’s been a year and a half since I last seen her. But the pain I feel is still heavy. I don’t know how to move on, or get over her. It’s not like we ended on bad terms. Her family just pulled us apart. 😢
Added Lucy as a beneficiary to my life insurance policy. Put a clause in my will that if she’s under 18 at the time of my demise, it will go into a trust fund that her parents can’t touch. That way they don’t smoke all of her money away, and maybe she can do better
Letters To Lucy
I wanna write a book. “Letters to Lucy.” Basically it would be a collection of memoirs of our time together, as well as thoughts, poems, and just things I would tell her if she were to read this as an adult. 3 goals: 1. A way for me to get closure. 2. Maybe someday she
I’m in love with her. I love and care about her deeply. I know we’ll never be able to have a traditional romantic relationship, get married and grow old together. But I want to be her friend. Someone she can talk to. A shoulder to cry on. And I know someday, she’ll meet some boy…