I’ve been working on self-care for the last several months, and I feel like I’ve made a lot of progress. My mental health and even my physical health have improved, and I feel I’m on the right track. Things are finally improving in my life, where I don’t have to worry about surviving and trying to navigate my health issues as urgently as in the last 5 years. I’m not cured, or the epitome of health, but I’m managing comfortably.
Which leaves me with one main point of depression that I’ve dealt with most of my life. I want someone to share my life with. Someone to share my home with. Someone to share experiences, grow old together, and maybe have a little fun before we die. But I’m alone. And I’m not getting any younger. I’ve watched as my cousins and my friends have all gotten married and have kids and started their lives, while I’ve just been stuck in this state of limbo, and my life is half over, and I don’t have what I desire most. And the prospects are slim for me. I’m not attracted to adult women, and have no interest in seeking one out. And even if I did… how? where? I don’t want chicks at the bar.
I just don’t understand how I can be born into a world that doesn’t understand that love is love. And refuses to consider the possibility that my soulmate is a child. 8 billion people in the world, how is it not plausible that some of us might have a soulmate who is a child? But most of us will never know, because our love is forbidden. 😢