A blog by Katie Cruz
I’m always thinking about Lucy. Even three years after last seeing her. Yesterday, I imagined what if I seen her out at a store? What would she say? What would she do? Did her parents feed her society’s narrative that I’m a monster, and change her opinion of me? Would she avoid me. Would she
In reply to someone who shared the challenges they faced in their childhood: I lived a pretty sheltered life. I didn’t have nearly as many of the challenges you had growing up. But there’s something I envy about your story. Maybe it’s my messiah complex… that I’m a caretaker by nature. I wish I had
“It’s not like love at first sight, really. It’s more like… gravity moves. When you see her, suddenly it’s not the earth holding you here anymore. She does. And nothing matters more than her. And you would do anything for her, be anything for her… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that’s
This is what was playing out in my head last night: I’m spending the day at Lucy’s house, with her and her parents. An alert sounds on all of our phones, that a ballistic missile is inbound. I hold Lucy. I’m sure she already knew the answer, but she asks if we’re going to die.
I love you so much. I long for you every day and night. You’re my soulmate. My best friend. My lover girl. My queen.
I’d do anything for you baby girl. You mean the world to me. You’re my best friend. My love. Anything for you. 💕👩👧
It’ll be 8 years before she’s 18. I don’t know if I’ll see her again before she’s 18, or even after. Am I delusional to wait for her for that long, with no guarantee we’ll end up together in the end? I really don’t wanna be with anyone else, though.
Added Lucy as a beneficiary to my life insurance policy. Put a clause in my will that if she’s under 18 at the time of my demise, it will go into a trust fund that her parents can’t touch. That way they don’t smoke all of her money away, and maybe she can do better
I wanna write a book. “Letters to Lucy.” Basically it would be a collection of memoirs of our time together, as well as thoughts, poems, and just things I would tell her if she were to read this as an adult. 3 goals: 1. A way for me to get closure. 2. Maybe someday she
I’m in love with her. I love and care about her deeply. I know we’ll never be able to have a traditional romantic relationship, get married and grow old together. But I want to be her friend. Someone she can talk to. A shoulder to cry on. And I know someday, she’ll meet some boy…