Every night, I find myself lying awake, longing for Lucy. I can’t shut my brain off. I watch TV, I listen to music, I read… but I can’t fall asleep, and I lay there missing her. Why do I have to carry this burden?
Forever Longing
This longing hurts. That’s what I’ve done most of my life. Longing for Lucy. Longing for the perfect girl in my head. Longing for whatever little girl I encountered for a brief moment in time. I spend years longing for girls that are out of reach. And what I’m doing now is probably the same.
You know, I love her so much, I’d be willing to wait until she’s 18 just for a chance of a relationship. I’m actually turned on imagining her at legal age, the two of us going out at two in the morning in our pajamas to get snacks at the gas station. Laughing and joking,
I wish I could know whether we’ll end up together in the end, or if she’ll move on without me. Without this closure, I’m stuck in limbo, unable to move on, myself. The odds aren’t in my favor. They never are. I hate this.
Re: Power Imbalance and relationship role
Antis and nons always talk about a power imbalance, and question our role in a relationship. “How can you be a lover, a friend, and a guardian at the same time?” Do we have to define it? Why can’t it just be what it is? It’s not a traditional relationship. It’s unique to MAPs. What
I’d do anything for you baby girl. You mean the world to me. You’re my best friend. My love. Anything for you. 💕👩👧
Forever grieving
I have always been able to get over adult girlfriends within a month after a break up. But when a girl child is taken out of my life by parents or other extenuating circumstances, I can’t get over them. I’m forever grieving. It hurts. There’s no closure. And I’m left wondering what could have been.
It’ll be 8 years before she’s 18. I don’t know if I’ll see her again before she’s 18, or even after. Am I delusional to wait for her for that long, with no guarantee we’ll end up together in the end? I really don’t wanna be with anyone else, though.
Re: Meeting minors online
Re: New Discovery+ TV series to catch paedophiles “Undercover Underage” If people are still stupid enough to try to meet minors online… they kinda deserve what they get. Low hanging fruit. Fuck around and find out.
I’ve always felt that if the world could understand us, we wouldn’t be persecuted, we wouldn’t be feared, and we could interact with the ones we’re attracted to, freely. Cause if people understood, they would have no problem with us.