A blog by Katie Cruz
I always thought It’s Only Rock n Roll by The Rolling Stones was a MAP song in disguise. Can’t ya see this ole boy is getting lonely. If I could stick a knife in my heart Suicide right on stage Would it be enough for your teenage lust Would it help to ease the pain?
Sometimes that’s all we can do. Love them and leave a good impression on them, so when they grow up and look back, they hold no contempt for us. If I’ve done that, then I’m successful, as bittersweet as it may be.
I made the decision to not let society define me. I know my character. I know I’m not the things society says I am. I know I didn’t choose this orientation. Once you realize that, you’ll be free.
We can’t choose our thoughts and feelings; only our actions. If you know in your mind that you wish no harm, that you have no bad intentions. If you have feelings of love and nurture, you are not a monster. If you know and accept your character, no one can take that away from you
Re: Has a little girl ever grown up and disappointed you with what she’s become or what she believes? This happened to me with J. She was a loving, friendly, and affection girl. I was in love with her, and hoped to one day marry her. I even got her family’s blessing when she turned
Every night, I find myself lying awake, longing for Lucy. I can’t shut my brain off. I watch TV, I listen to music, I read… but I can’t fall asleep, and I lay there missing her. Why do I have to carry this burden?
This longing hurts. That’s what I’ve done most of my life. Longing for Lucy. Longing for the perfect girl in my head. Longing for whatever little girl I encountered for a brief moment in time. I spend years longing for girls that are out of reach. And what I’m doing now is probably the same.
You know, I love her so much, I’d be willing to wait until she’s 18 just for a chance of a relationship. I’m actually turned on imagining her at legal age, the two of us going out at two in the morning in our pajamas to get snacks at the gas station. Laughing and joking,
I wish I could know whether we’ll end up together in the end, or if she’ll move on without me. Without this closure, I’m stuck in limbo, unable to move on, myself. The odds aren’t in my favor. They never are. I hate this.
Antis and nons always talk about a power imbalance, and question our role in a relationship. “How can you be a lover, a friend, and a guardian at the same time?” Do we have to define it? Why can’t it just be what it is? It’s not a traditional relationship. It’s unique to MAPs. What