Site Overlay

Tag: grief

It’s not fair. I saw new pics of her today. She’s growing up. Without me. She’s got boobs now. Looks like her mom. So fuckin beautiful. And I just don’t understand why I can’t be in their lives. Why I can’t be in her life? It’s not fair. I’m so lost.

The last time we were together, Lucy karaoked “Jester” by Badflower. I just watched the music video to that song, and between the lyrics and the plot of the video, and me associating that song with Lucy, it’s so heart-wrenching.

I had met another female MAP on Twitter last year. Her name was Alyssa. She was out to the world, sharing pictures of herself with GLogo earrings. She was hella cool, down to earth, and I can tell she had good intentions when it comes to children. Very wise beyond her years. And then likeContinue reading

Re: Has a little girl ever grown up and disappointed you with what she’s become or what she believes?

Re: Has a little girl ever grown up and disappointed you with what she’s become or what she believes? This happened to me with J. She was a loving, friendly, and affection girl. I was in love with her, and hoped to one day marry her. I even got her family’s blessing when she turnedContinue readingRe: Has a little girl ever grown up and disappointed you with what she’s become or what she believes?

Every night, I find myself lying awake, longing for Lucy. I can’t shut my brain off. I watch TV, I listen to music, I read… but I can’t fall asleep, and I lay there missing her. Why do I have to carry this burden?

I wish I could know whether we’ll end up together in the end, or if she’ll move on without me. Without this closure, I’m stuck in limbo, unable to move on, myself. The odds aren’t in my favor. They never are. I hate this.

Like this content? Take a moment to support me!
CodePenCodePen